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21:54:35 - [Life in General] | 2009-07-13
I thought I've seen everything and catered to them accordingly.
Yet I guess there's more than one side that you've been hiding from me.
I guess that's just who you are and I can't help with it--there's a dark side to everything undoubtably.
I think I'm trying to understand a little more now.
Oh, by the way, since you're not responding to everything I send out...I'm learning French starting August 1st, and I won't be part of the parade training (I lied to the teacher that I was going to Australia for the summer.)
There, if you ever see this, even months after the date this is written...my home is taking its toll on me, and I hate it.
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Mon 20:12 March 23rd,2009 - [Life in General] | 2009-03-23
Sorry,it's Monday already,didn't really have the time or heart for reflection yesterday.
Last week was busy as you can see.On Monday I had a report to do,followed by another report on Tuesday,and on Friday I had a speech on the relationship between men and women,which had started gnawing my brain and heart since Friday the previous week when I heard I was to do this.First because the teacher that teaches us speech is not only a very critical thinker (so that the speech we diliver always have to have a good structure as well as exceptional sense that can stand up to her questioning),but also she is a hard-core feminist who did her doctoral dissertation on,you guess it,feminism.So I had to walk on eggshelss not to offend her and her gang of girls.
So,right after I was assinged the task I waited for no time to ask Angela,a very self-confident and domineering yet sensible girl in my class,for a little help.Basically we just talked about the women issue in general to see if we find a particular issue that we could work on.Finally I decided on men's virgin complex.The later days I did the work on my own,writing a paragraph,asking myself questions about the paragraph to perfect the logic,and orginizing the sentences to make them work together.I worked day and night,night and day,but I still wasn't satisfied with what I had done.
Friday morning I was the second to come up to the stage and deliver,it started out okay,I was in my pace,the reading was louder and clearer than usual,and I couldn't help constantly glancing at Angela,if she was nodding to what I said I knew I was doing at least okay;if she was kind of frowning I knew I had to elaborate on my point a little bit more.I felt a bit annoyed by myself that I had to somehow get Angela's approval for every single sentence and point-she is already the dictator in our prodution of a drama already.The coward way to think of this is definitely:"Well...that's just the difference between a dealer and a follower."But I certainly am not going to let her get away with everything she wants in a group activity,so in this week I'm going to speak up more.Anyway,towards the end the timer beeped,teling me I already ran out of time,but the teacher surprisingly enough let me turn off the timer and go on.I blabbled on a bit 'cause I was getting quite nervous and then I looked at Angela again and regained command of my tongue and made a conclusion that had her nodding non-stop.
Well,the result,the teacher quite like the content,thought it was quite eye-catching and could be potentially good,but my manners were a mess and the speech lacked logic in the supporting points.Angela's opinion?Well,she came over during the break and what she thought was this topic,virgin complex,was just too profound that the deeper I thought the more I discovered I need to include and it wound up needing a lot more than 3 minutes to show itself out.And I had to agree,which was why she initiated that we talk over the arrangement of the article to make it perfect the coming weekends,and that was exactly what we did,only both of us backed out somewhere around 11 p.m. last night for she first claimed that she'd back out for it is too hard and messy,and I agreed.
As for Alex,I came to his classroom in the evening quite a lot last week,we fooled around,jerked each other off and studied together,sometimes we did all of them.And one night,Thursday night,the night before the big speech day,he messaged me at somewhere past 12 p.m. and said he missed me much.And I was happy,despite the big speech.
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10:24 Sunday March 15th - [Life in General] | 2009-03-15
Another week.
Now I'm sitting here in my dorm room on a fine-weathered Sunday morning,with a sound from a roommate reading his English textbook and besides that everything falls silent and still.
This week hasn't been as productive as last.I went to bed every night 2 hours later than last,at 1 for most of the nights and got up 30 minutes later on average at 7:30 or even 7:40.For school work I haven't been exactly keen as I was last week,I didn't do much planning ahead,which is why just then when I listed out things to complement and perfect my study it would have accumulated to quite some number.As of book reading,I did read regularly,between classes,before my naps,yet I wasn't reading carefully enough.I was just letting the texts slide by my mind without making any fundamental impact.
With that,I guess I will have a lot to work on next week.
This week we started getting on the rough work:Understanding English-Speaking Countries,a course that we take,started on the American politics,religions and identity,which is coincidentally complemented by the intensive reading series of American justice system.I think this is the first time that college has ever come upon me as a heavy-reading(I know this is not supposed to THAT heavy compared to American colleges) and very much critial-thinking-demanding entity.Besides giving me some minor shivering and uncertainty,overall part of me is quite glad that finally here is a challenge that gets me working again.So,welcome ass-bitingly hard lessons,welcome peer pressure,welcome pressure,you have all been an old friend,haven't you?Perversely I feel I'm falling into my comfort zone.
Also,in two weeks there is this drama night thing at school.Yesterday we started talking about the adapted script and cast,and soon we'd be on track rehearsing,and it's going to take up some precious time,but I guess we all know it's not time to be selfish,and something has to be given up.By the way,I am the leading actor and I have to hug a girl and maybe more.ugghhh....tough tough tough.
Finally,Alex and I have been going to his class room at night quite often,fooling around to make our relationship work,and working it is.I love,love,love him.
Cheers,
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Sat 0:19 March 7 2009 - [Life in General] | 2009-03-07
It is the mid-night.
It is the end of the week.
It is a few seconds after swallowing down 2 pills of Amway Nutrilite.Ironically gulping down something that would improve my health more or less could put me at the risk of killing myself by choking--those pills are just too damn big.
It also marks the end of the first week of spring semester as a freshman at BFSU,which barely counts as an achievment but I've been told the first week of every semester are the longest in so many ways so I do feel I deserve a round of applause,given that during this week there's been more silence,more chaos,more projects and more chores to be involved in.
And it doesn't end with the coming of the weekend.And I'm nor sure if it will stop when the next brand-new week starts.Anyway,tomorrow I will still find myself get up at as early as nine and be out there in another campus talking to a friend at around 10.I don't complain about it because it is for a friend,and instead of thinking of it as a pain in the ass,I will find myself pleased in the company of a truly good friend.
Great week.
Cheers,
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This Little Thing They Call "Blog" - [Life in General] | 2009-02-24
Well,as I'm writing this I have written the exact same passage 3 times thanks to an unknown button on my laptop that triggered the browser to go back a page,and thus erasing my entire composition.I'm not going to do this yet again so I will just do a quick summary of what I just wrote.
Again there's been a big skip in my blog entries,now I'm thinking about revisiting this blog.
My last blog entry,written at the beging of my first semester in college,proved to have made a 100 per cent dead-on prediction of what I was to do and to feel,to manage and to lose,in my college life.I have no regret at all about my loss there.
I'm intrigued to continue this blog.I will try to manage one post in a week,if not more.Since I've been promising to continue my blog in more than one blog,I'm not going to sound too severe in case I bail out on this again.
In roughly a week the second semester of college begins for me.I will be leaving for Beijing on a plane soon,good luck to me,and to you.
Cheers,
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And again | 2008-09-13
Life is only boring when you want it to be.
First week of college is gradually coming to its end and I think so far everything's been fine.Alex's been wonderfully helpful,despite the sheer awkwardness at dinner the day before yesterday,man was that a big disaster,but we did manage to patch things up and thank god,since I'd really be devastated if I ever let such a wonderful person walk out of my life like that.And plus it's even harder a period for me in that I just arrived in this new school and frankly there aren't many people I find interesting,yet(hopefully).
We're starting military training day after tomorrow,for 15 days I'll be surrounded by smelly blokes,even through there are only 24 of us in the whole freshman group.
God bless
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Okay I'm going to Beijing | 2008-09-03
If I say how time flies here you'd probably want to kill me right on the spot.
I'm leaving for Beijing in 3 days and the next 4 years a big portion of my life is going to take place there.
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Welcome Subscriber - [Life in General] | 2008-04-12
Okay,so I finally got here,my blog,again after a few weeks of hustles and bustles,and found myself a Subscribed Blogger!
Pathetic as it sounds,I'm still wildly happy.To whoever it is,thank you.
I'm not very available recently 'cause I've still got Entrance Exam to do,but I promise I will catch up.
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Mr. Vicent van Gogh-Neocha - [Found on the Net.] | 2008-03-12
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Stop The Hate Now - [Found on the Net.] | 2008-03-11
Gay video from AfterElton.com They're right,we should be able to be who we really are,stop the hate,now.
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I'm engaged? - [Life in General] | 2008-03-07
Right on the taxi,having the end-of-the-day chat,which is supposed to be the last drop of joy of a day,turns into a horrifying snow-in-hell nightmare by the unexpected news from Rosing that I have been supposedly been engaged with this girl Cathy for quite a few months.
Upon hearing this I'm thinking "What the f*ck?"I didn't even get to decide whether I am engaged or not now?What is that girl thinking telling people in detail how I went to her parents and closed the deal when nothing even close to that ever happened?Is she crazy?
Now she is officially a freak and I am Freaking Out!
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Two Gay Guys:Underwear Edition - [Found on the Net.] | 2008-03-06
Okay,I guess the title says it all,if you tend to be offended by this,Do NOT watch it.
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应对超优等生的压力 - [Life in General] | 2008-03-01
今天考试第一天，不同于平常的考试，由于上一次我考得比平常好很多，而这位超优同志比平常考差了一些，于是命运便把我们安排在一前一后的考试座位次序上，她006，我便是James Bond。
我从来是没办法与这些优秀人民呆的时间太长，实在是让人紧张，感叹上帝的不公平与残酷，接着像林黛玉一样自怜，然后考试时产生的巨大压力便迅速帮助我找准我的位置，我在杰出人士之地的2日游便开始走向终点。
早上开始就不甚顺利，我大胆地误认为我是006，便欣然坐下。但谁知道呢，007在哪儿都不是个女的，那我们把她叫Cat Woman得了，Cat Woman见我夺了她的交椅，酷酷地问：“你为什么坐这呢儿呢？”我顿感灵魂都被冻僵了一样含糊了一堆哼哈不清之词句，大意是说我搞错了，然后灰溜溜地提上书包往前走一排，这样我就坐在她前面，然后我就开始念叨，考试的时候我的脊背非发冷冒汗不可。
一提笔，顿觉阴风四起，黑云压城城欲摧。我想：“这回是完蛋了，再见了我的007，下辈子吧。”
然而，中国人民是这样退缩的吗？显然不是，虽然共产-党穿得破，用得破，不照样3年时间把美帝国主义支持下的反动国民政府打得个落花流水吗？我作为共产-党的忠实后代，要发扬这种精神。于是我便在心中燃起一团革命的火，点亮了现实的黑暗，我奋笔疾书，虽然步履蹒跚，但终于把Wonder Woman从脑中的雷达彻底清除，集中了精神，赢得了胜利。
007终于是完成了任务。
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Street Pranks - [Life in General] | 2008-02-28
Today after school on my home I walked with this good girl Rosing,and as I had just practised English with a fellow earlier in class and it hand't worn off yet we started talking in English still,and as we were walking we noticed some passers-by were showing a little surprise overhearing us,and we thought "Why not have a little fun of our own?" So we kept looking around and walking,when there is someone in the distance walking towards us,we'd start speaking English as if we were discussing something important,and without an exception they all looked back a little when they passed,and more interestingly,we decided to do it on the taxi too,Rosing would be the local,I would be a "foreigner",and we'd shock the taxi driver,that's basically what we did all the way home.I totally loved the thrill of it,and Rosing went in pretty deep as well for when there was a quick turn into the wrong direction,she yelled out "No!" instead of Bu as would be in Chinese,that really was a fun ride home.But sorry,dear taxi driver we made a mockery of you,you rock.
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Human Calendar - [Found on the Net.] | 2008-02-28
I actually found Human Calender through a gay-porn blog,from this you can guess how amazing and attractive this idea is that a porn blog had to go out of its way to write about it.
And it without a doubt is a fabulously fun idea.
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Leona Lewis:Footprints In The Sand - [Found on the Net.] | 2008-02-28
The beautiful and talented former X-factor winner has released a new music video,I don't know anything yet except the music,but I think it's apparent it's charity-related,quaint song,enjoyable as always.
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Forget or Remember - [Found on the Net.] | 2008-02-25
I found this news:Apparently this man can recall every second of his conscious life minutely.
This gets me to wonder whether that's a treat or a trick from god,if I were to remember or to forget anything I want just like save/delete on a computer,what would I be doing?
Forget:
- Myself--to have the "Who am I?" moment in life can be kinda cool,as seen from the Jackie Chen film or some scence from On the Road by Jake Kerouac,and I believe it has some philosophical signifcance,maybe I will start writing a philo masterpiece afterward.
- Impressions of acquaintances when I want to--you don't want Pride & Prejudice happening every day in your life,I just want to give him/her and myself another chance.
Remember:
- Sex experiences (lol)--Maybe it's because I haven't had any yet,but wouldn't it be cool to say "Hey,I first slept with her (or him) from 11.30 p.m. till 2 a.m. on Monday,25th of 2008!"
- Knowledge--so that I could get out of school as soon as possible,saving the painful and sometimes useless revision hours.
- Sensations--it's like automatic playback,probably requires more than a good memory,but a good brain is definitely a foundatioin for recreating the exact sensations--be it a romantic kiss,a touching film,or some violent fight,I guess it would save a lot of time doing it again and again.Only maybe people enjoy doing it over and over.
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Temporary Surrender - [Life in General] | 2008-02-22
Okay,English this time.
Yesterday afternoon an unexpected visit came from the renowned newspaper China Daily (21st Century division).I participated in an English speaking competition held by them and won the first prize.
(You might think it awesome,but above me there is one Champion,a first runner-up,a second runner-up,and after that,there it is,5 first-prizees amongst whom I stand,so actually not so fancy.)
They had to dig me out from the library and after a trip upstairs with too many an encounter with toilet stinks I arrived at the corridor opposite our classroom to meet with a well-dressed gentleman sent for "a mission",that is,as I later was told,they were going to put my face up in one edition of their future newspapers as an advertisement for next year's competition,which seriously made me doubt,considering the pimples hanging up high on my forehead,I cannot help thinking yet again "Why me?"
Also,for that I need to write a short passage regarding how I had felt before and after the competition,how my life had been different.Second paragraph,Olympics.I dreaded the seemingly-easy subjects.For the competition,spare me some sympathy but I didn't really feel much at all except some hell-like nerve-wrecking stomaches and heart attacks,and it hasn't changed my life a bit if not given me some extra trouble which I suppose wouldn't be so appealing as to be put on paper.And second,oh the painful Olympics,Beijing,2000 and f*cking 8,what is it to do with me in Xi'an?plus,the government,as usual,has made this sports event tinted with political and economical implications so heavily that it doesn't seem to be about the sport per se any more,and what does that make?Dull.
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西安，学校，一天一天 | 2008-02-21
一直想好好用中文写一篇，但是一下笔又想中文打出来真有点慢，立马敲开了单词。现在换成goolge的打字程序舒服了些，加上外面因为元宵节鞭炮一直放影响了其他事情，我便偷闲来开始我平生第一篇像模像样的中文博客书写。
这几天像其他所有的一天，新鲜的是又要帮着两个同学练英语口语，直白地说就是陪着用英语东拉西扯——有时候在听他们说着对于各个问题的相似观点出了神，便想着“我真是奇怪”。好象是背了一身的运气都是为了送人的：跟一个又一个用英语谈了又谈“超女”，“西安印象”，“华南虎”，“你的特长爱好”以及“你为什么选择这个学校这个语种”，然后这个去了北大，那个去了人大，接着又要北二外和西外，只剩我在这里打转转。
但是我的遗憾等等也实在不长久，我可能有点宽容过了头，每天都能笑，从不去评论人和事，总是看到他人的美好与积极，即使负面也要想个很好的诠释理由或视而不见来个“主要矛盾决定一切，次要矛盾一概忽略”的方法论——我确实想去热爱这个世界，我也正这么去尝试。有时候我想也许如果我的整个学业是为了去教会另一个人我学到的知识，我会一刻也不懈怠地记下每一点，说不定这样我也能比现在有更大的成绩。但我总也不是个被所谓“雄心壮志”所激发的人。我只想去热爱生活，发现它的可爱与幽默感，这花了些痛苦的时间，但最后还是挺简单轻松的就得到了——或者更恰当地——充分感觉到了。曾有的内心种种的不平静——那种让你在夜晚关上灯在床上长长地伸腰喘息的不平静——慢慢地被融化了似的。
我很珍惜我能学会去欣赏而不去过早的形成意见，我甚至害怕自己对事与人形成负面的意见，从前曾想这样的感情与态度总有一天要消失——看看比你老一点的人总让人发问：“那里面住着个人吗?",但这就像每天读英语才能越来越流利一样，每天去实践这样的信念我便有了信心，相信这样的对人和事的永远良好的期望会和我一起长大并去影响更多的人。
但今天的session里，那个已经被人大录取的人有些粗鲁地请我们换一个教室因为我们的对话让他不能集中在他的谈话中，也是挺遗憾的。他以前是我的同桌，我想我对他也有特殊的感情，看到他确实是个有主见敢于直面表达意见的人，我突然再想，他也许更需要这些，而不是像我一样有些盲目地去……觉得应该对什么都谦让，确实有的时候这变成了纵容了。
或许我能多些棱角，但这个过于善良的我却又令人舍不得。
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My Big Hello | 2008-02-15
Hello World.
I'm thus officially blogging.
你好，世界上的人。
我要在这里开始博客了！
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